Couples that last longer tend to have more selfless love in their relationships. “Forever” is a long time to be with someone — you never know what life will throw at you. But as Dr. Moye says, “When you’re committed to reaching longevity as a couple, your response to life’s many shifts always comes from a place of selflessness.” Marriages that last focus on the “we” more than the individual “me’s.”
1. You Love And Accept Each Other
If you realized early on that you love your partner for who they are and not what they have or what they can do for you, your marriage is going to last. People aren’t perfect; your partner is bound to make mistakes. But as Sullivan says, “A willingness to accept your partner for who they are and embrace their flaws will make for a very happy and healthy marriage,” Sullivan says.
2. You Stay Curious About Each Other
“The best way to ensure that your marriage is still cohesive, is to check in every once in a while,” Dr. Moye says. “Be curious about how your partner views you in this season, as opposed to last season when you were in a different place.” Always keep in mind that people change. It may not be anything drastic, but it’s important to stay up-to-date on your partner’s likes, dislikes, and what’s going on in their world. If you never stop asking questions and you stay curious about them, your marriage can last a lifetime.
3. There’s Open Communication
It gets said a lot, but open communication really is one of the most important things you need to have in your relationship. “Each partner should feel comfortable speaking their thoughts and feelings to the other,” psychologist Alexandra B. Grundleger, PhD, tells Bustle. “This involves sharing with your partner when you feel both positive and negative emotions.” If you and your partner have created a relationship that’s safe for you to express yourselves, you have a good chance at making it last.
4. You Have A Solid Amount Of Emotional And Physical Intimacy
Intimacy is more than just sex. It’s the connection that you have with each other, and it’s the glue that will keep your relationship strong for a long time. “All healthy, long-term couples will have a solid amount of emotional and physical intimacy,” Grundleger says. “While the amount of intimacy may change over the years, there will always be constant effort towards connecting with one another.”